You Have RIVALS????

My 8th Grade Arch-Rival

As some of you may have read from my previous blogs I was expelled in 8th grade from parochial school. My eighth grade year I had the privilege of attending a small town public school in the heart of the Midwest. I went from a class of 3 students in the 8th grade to a class of 100. I had so many more people to talk to and associate with. I was elated because I had a different teacher for every class in my new school. Instructors paid to teach one class as their expertise which was a new and different experience for me.

Have any of you ever started a new school or maybe a new job where there were lots of new people? The first few days, even weeks in a new environment can be pretty scary. Sometimes, it can take a little longer than that to feel like you fit in. I was there, scared, and learning how to fit in with this large group. I was still recovering mentally from being rejected (expelled). I just needed a friend.

Slowly I began to make friends. I was thriving on the joy of being with teachers who loved the subjects they taught. Even though I was a little shy, I did risk and participate in class. I had the opportunity of being in choir and in band. I was pretty good at music, as I had been taking piano lessons since 2nd grade and had been playing the flute for the last 2 years. I also sang frequently at church as my parents attended frequently.

With this new school came lots of hot boys! WOW! I had my eye on one particular boy who just happened to be in choir and band. He just happened to be part of the “in” crowd and I wasn’t. Hmmmm, how was I going to get him to notice me? How was I going to stand out and show him how much of a catch I was? Have you ever felt this way with a boss, or someone you liked? Have you ever done something just to get noticed?

Well, the head cheerleader- Caroline, and also a BIG part of the “in” crowd noticed my interest in “her” man. Mind you, they were not dating, though she somehow felt that she owned him. Thus, she became my Arch-Rival. She was there frequently to make certain I didn’t become a permanent member of the “in” crowd. Despite her efforts, I became friends with a few of the girls in the “in” crowed.

I had to come up with an effective strategy of being noticed, and also place Caroline in a check mate. This was a big effort of genius for me, as I had not previously experienced this type of adversity with a peer. Plus, I had never liked any other boy at this point as much as I liked this one.

Caroline happened to play the flute just like me. If I remember correctly, there were about 4 of us in the flute section of the band. I had the joy of holding down the 4th position as I was new and the last to arrive to the class. After being in band for about 1 month something happened in the trumpet row. They had what is called a “challenge.” A challenge is when the say the 3rd place challenges the 2nd place for the position in the band. The winner of the challenge either maintains their chair or gains a new position. The band members vote on who they perceive place the challenge piece of music the best.

This was cool. Competition. I had never had the opportunity to compete in something I perceived being skilled at. I could compete at music and I could easily be good just by practicing. I then made my first challenge to move up to 3rd chair from 4th. I was so nervous playing a solo piece for the entire band, and I succeeded! I was so grateful. I then began thinking, I wonder if I could get 2nd place? Have you ever done something well once, and then wanted to take it to the next level and see if you could? Well this was just one of those instances. I challenged 2nd place who by the way was Caroline. It was a flute dual between the two of us. Caroline did end up winning, though it was so invigorating to give her a run for her money.

With all of this new found incentive of going after and risking to get what I wanted I decided to audition for a solo in our school musical. Guess who else was in that class…Your Right! Caroline! I ended up successfully obtaining a solo with three other girls singing “we’ll take manhattan…” I couldn’t believe how successful I was becoming and how people were starting to notice me. After the musical my Arch-Rival was quick to point out to me I had sung dreadfully off tune. She was the only one though. I have no idea, nor did I care, I had done something huge for me!

The school year progressed much like this, with me competing and going after things I had realized I could do. I usually had my worst critic Caroline commenting from my sidelines. In the spring were cheerleader try outs. I couldn’t do that as I knew my mom would kill me. In the religion I was growing up, dancing is considered a little evil and not recommended. My mom felt that cheerleading was definitely dancing. It would have been fun to directly compete with Caroline on her favorite activity!

I instead chose to compete for Flag Girl position with the marching band in high school for the next year. Have I mentioned that I am short, and at that time barely weighed 90 lbs. Some days when I was practicing with my flag outside, I felt like I was going to blow away. We had try outs finally. D-day was here. A day later the results were posted! I MADE IT!! I WAS A FLAG GIRL in the band if I wanted to be.

Now, what you might not know is that I was never planning to go to public school for high school. I wanted very much to move away from home and go to coed boarding school. Well, my arch-rival Caroline found out about this. She was MAD! Holy cow! She cornered me in the hall one day and completely let me have it on how horrible a person I was to go out for something, get it, and take a spot away from someone else who really wanted it that was going to be there the next year. Her words to me were, “ I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!”

Well, let me just make a short point with you here… when you hear someone strongly say”I WOULD NEVER”… you can be 100% certain it will come true for that person. I think God has a unique sense of humor and that is why He/She does that.

Caroline had tried out for the cheerleading squad that same spring for high school. She got a spot on the team. Good for her. Caroline and her family also moved that summer before high school unexpectedly. She had taken someone else’s spot and then left them in a ‘lurch’ as she accused me of doing.

Did the one guy ever notice me? Who knows. I didn’t really care by the end of the year because I was having so much fun being me. Were Caroline and I ever friends? No, we were never friends. She, however, was one of the most amazing people in my life. My desire to prove her wrong and compete with her for one of the guys attention helped me to grow and risk as an individual. The whole experience really stepped up my leadership capabilities. I am so grateful to her! She inspired me to push through my shyness and be all I could be. Thank you, Caroline, for being a tremendous catalyst & antagonist in my life, acting out the perfect arch rival role to me. Thank you for being you exactly as you are! You, Caroline, played a very important role of helping me become who I am today. Thank you!

I recommend going after anything that interests you. Go for it. What do you have to lose? If you end up getting and realize you do not want it, that’s ok to. It is better to have tried to get something and not get it, than it is to be too fearful never trying at all. Our failures and the action of taking these failures does lead us to some of our most amazing successes.

What in your life, would you like to go after? Maybe I can help. Check it out at www.robinsonequation.com. You already have everything you could possibly need to become who you dream of. Let me help you find it in you! I will support you by asking quality questions to help you create your plan of success according to your highest values.
Thank you for letting me share this with you! J